Family – VC Social

How 6 kids have changed the path of my life and how I’m changing Theirs

When I was 11 years old I found out I was gonna be a Tia. Taking on this title I thought it was gonna be full of thoughtless fun, dressing the baby up in cute clothes, playing with toys and occasionally making a bottle and it was for a little while. I began to realize that my love for this one child, and soon to be others, goes so beyond what I could even grasp and I had a chance to help guide them to a better life than I had. So during my high school years I sacrificed my youth and helped raise them and it is an experience that holds so much gratitude and turmoil but I would never give it up. I took on the responsibility of healing the generational trauma of the past to give them a fighting chance to build something new. I now have 4 nieces and 2 nephews, that’s right about a decade later there are now 6 kids ranging from 9-3 years old, running around at almost all times. It’s always a party with them, sometimes I’m trying to decide if it’s a party I want to be invited to or not (ha ha).

In society it has been the standard to believe children aren’t people, that they don’t have feelings or wants of their own or that they’re not entitled to those because they’re children. I believe society is entering a transition period and reevaluating the vital role kids play because they are the future, Why would we not emphasize their importance? I was not raised to be in touch with my needs or wants, I was raised with the main focus of sacrifice and how important it was to sacrifice anything and everything as long as it helped your family make it in the end. Learning how to sacrifice has been one of the best and worse lessons in my life, learning anything without balance is bound to lead to disproportion. I do know the importance of sacrifice and it is something I will never underestimate, but now I am integrating the importance of saying no and not always prioritizing others over myself. The winding road of never ending sacrifice leads to burnout, resentment and emptiness. Sometimes never ending sacrifice is key for survival but when you’re able to get out of it and move into autonomy over sacrifice it can lead to beautiful healing.

As I sit here and type this I’m currently surrounded by 3/6 kids and I watch them and soak in their interactions and am filled with so much gratitude and some fear for the future. I can only hope that I am able to be a person for them that I never had. I hope that I help guide them towards something new and better while leaving them laced with our family culture that came before us but may not serve us anymore. So I leave you with my hope and a very kid friendly recipe 🙂

Worms in the Mud Cookie Cups

Cookie Cup

>1 cup of Butter (softened)

>1 1/2 cup of Sugar

>1 Egg

>2 tsp of Vanilla Extract

>2 3/4 cups of AP Flour

>2 tsp of Baking Powder

>1 tsp of Salt

Filling

>Store Bought Chocolate Pudding Cups

>Crushed Oreos

>Gummy Worms

Preheat the oven to 400F. Grease a cupcake pan. Put your softened butter and sugar in a mixing bowl and beat till creamed together. Slowly incorporate the egg and vanilla extract, then set aside. In a separate bowl combine flour, baking powder and salt, give a quick mix to combine. Put your mixer on the slowest setting and add half the flour mixture. Once incorporated add the other half of the mixture and put the mixer on a higher setting, it should come together as a dough. If too sticky add a tbsp of flour at a time until it comes together. Take 2 tbsp of dough and press into each cupcake slot. Bake for about 13 minutes or until golden brown. As the Cookie Cups bake prep your Oreos, separate the filling from the cookie and put the cookies into a small sandwich bag. Proceed to crush them in the bag until they are crumbs, resembling dirt. Once your cookie cups have come out of the oven and cooled for 10 mins or longer, press a circular indentation in the middle, you can do this by using a tsp or tbsp. Add the pudding in the middle of the cup, then the Oreo crumbs and then the gummy worms. Ta-Da! You have some Worms in the Mud Cookie Cups!

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I am not a chef. In fact, I wouldn’t even qualify myself as a cook.

In a past article, I proposed that everyone should have a handful of basic recipes that they can rely on. As someone who breaks out in a cold sweat at the thought of following a recipe in a timely manner, I am one of those people who needs basic – and I mean basic – recipes. If I don’t read a recipe at least 15 times prior to cooking, something that should take 10 minutes will most definitely take an hour.

Ok so you get it, right? I’m not great at cooking.

I should be, though.

Most people develop their cooking skills from family, shadowing their parents and grandparents in the kitchen and cutting their teeth on recipes passed down through generations. My story wasn’t any different. I sat in the kitchen during every holiday and family gathering, watching my grandmother and all of my aunties cook the dishes that I now associate with comfort and affection. Dishes like Filé Gumbo and Pecan Pie and Crab Soup.

For as much as I witnessed all of this cooking and baking and memory-making, I should be a James Beard Award-Winning chef.

And I’m not exaggerating – my grandmother’s sister, who learned the same family recipes from the same matriarch, is a James Beard Award-Winning chef. That’s right, my aunt was such an influential chef, she inspired the creation of a Disney Princess. She was Tiana.

Basically, I’m saying I have no excuse. I should be able to do all of this, but for whatever reason, I’ve never felt as comfortable in the kitchen as I would like to. This is why my grandmother’s (or more accurately, my great-grandmother’s) potato salad recipe is so important to me.

I learned how to make this recipe for two reasons: because I hate every other potato salad I’ve ever tried and because it’s so incredibly simple. It’s simple, but still delicious and makes me feel close to my family every time I make it and share it with others. Also, it makes the others that I share it with think I can cook. Next time you have a potluck or dinner party, whip up a batch of this potato salad and watch as your friends’ eyes light up. You can thank me later.

Ms. Lange’s Potato Salad

Ingredients:

Serving Size 8

8 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes

8 hard-boiled eggs, peeled and diced

2 cups Mayonnaise

¼ cup Green onions, chopped

¼ cup Parsley, chopped

Salt

Pepper

Step One: Peel the potatoes and cut them into 1-inch cubes. The general rule of thumb is to include one potato and one egg per serving. This recipe calls for eight, but if you’re only cooking for six people, use six potatoes and six eggs. Likewise, if you’re feeding an entire baseball team, maybe buy a whole bag of potatoes. You will most likely have leftovers, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind. Next, you’ll put the potatoes in a big pot, fill it with water about an inch higher than the potatoes, bring it to a boil and let them cook for about 15-20 minutes or until they are soft all the way through. Then drain the potatoes and let them cool. In the past, I’ve cooked the potatoes before I’ve cut them, but I’ve found that you get a more even cook if all the potatoes are cut to the same size. Besides, they call that game “Hot Potato” for a reason.

Step Two: Hard boil the eggs. I’ve read so many different instructions on how to hard boil eggs and I’m sure I do it a different way each time. I’ve done it on the stove, in an Instant Pot, I’ve even seen instructions on how to do it in the oven. It doesn’t matter much how you do it, but if you’re like me and always have to look it up, here you go: put the eggs in a pot, fill it with water about an inch higher than the eggs. Bring the water to a boil, then take it off the heat, cover it and let the pot sit for about 10 minutes. After that, put the eggs in a bowl of ice water and let them sit for another 10-15 minutes, or until they’re cool. When they’re cool enough to touch, peel them and dice them into sections about one centimeter wide.

Step Three: Mix it all together! Stir the eggs and potatoes all together with the mayo, adding in the diced parsley and green onions as you go. If you’re not a fan of mayo you can use less. If you love it like I do, add in as much as you want! Season with salt and pepper to taste, let it chill out in the fridge for a bit, and you’re good to go!